Smart Pills

Amazing Technology for Students
by Ron J. Stoppable

Smart Pills are fast becoming the most popular technology ever. Invented by a Utah teacher, Mr. Welch, the pills quickly make students smarter. When Mr. Welch first began teaching, back in 1995, he noticed that most students were just plain dumb. As hard as he tried, he couldn't make the students smart.

So, on Feb. 7, 2005, Mr. Welch went to his basement in Springville, Utah. He mixed bananas with dead cockroaches. He placed it in his microwave for 17 hours (on high power). When the dead cockroaches exploded, he gathered up their stinky remains and mixed it with Cherry Kool-Aide. Four days later, after it all dried, he shaped the gunk into pills and took them to school.

Recently, in September, 2006, Mr. Welch took the smart pills to school. He gave the pills to a lot of students: Courtney Wright, Taylor Hammer, Aaron Delgado, Cameron Kelly, Taylor Weibell, Josh Hougaard, Natalie Hair, Abby DeWitt, Connor Davis, Samantha Villarini, Luis Roura, Nicolette Cheney, Josh Allphin, Sage Fowler, Eric Monson, Samanth Abram, Aubree Oliverson, and Kylee Hansen. The pill worked great! These students became so smart that Principal Bird nearly sent them to college! Since then, Mr. Welch has been selling the pills to lots of kids, parents, and teachers.

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